Fleur de Tease Prison Tales

DSC_0255I know. I know. It has been a while. Your friendly NOLA duo took some time for friends, family, holidays and a little debauchery over Mardi Gras. What’s that? Debauchery we say? Why didn’t we cover such fun? Well, some things are better left to the imagination. Not to mention, we had to burn the evidence.

What better way to get back to the burly q, but to do it with Fleur de Tease? It was not the first time the girls of FDT put on their Prison Tales show, but I seemed to have missed it the first time around and was excited when I found out they were doing it this season.

In typical control freak fashion, Ms. Armbruster had to be at One Eyed Jack’s an hour before the show started, but honestly I did not mind. It gave me time to have a whiskey (or two) and chat with some of the crowd. There were some burlesque virgins down from Canada who were in especially good shape and really looking forward to their first burlesque experience. As show time neared, the front bar of OEJ grew thick with anticipation as warm bodies filled the house. By the time the doors opened I thought the crowd would explode into the theater.

Corralling the inmates this evening was Travis the lascivious prison guard perfectly played by Magic Mike Darden. Mike doesn’t usually pull emcee duty, but maybe he should. This was the funniest I have ever seen him, were it not for the beauty of the rest of the performers, he may have stolen the show.

Speaking of beauty what could be steamer than Trixie Minx, Roxie Le Rouge and Madame Mystere in a prison shower. Poor little Roxie couldn’t get the girls to play along when she dropped the soap – silly girls.

FDT special guest Sam Aquatic opened the show as Hunter S. Thompson in an interrogation like no other. Sam is an extraordinary back bender, who I think has gotten bendier since I last saw her. I was so mesmerized by Sam’s performance that it wasn’t until the end of her act that I realized that the other girls were watching from behind bars on stage with that hungry look that all hot jail birds have…well at least the ones in late night Cinemax flics.

DSC_0313The next cell we peered into was that of Roxie Le Rouge, the best bootie in the big house. Roxie, as sexy as ever, gave us a drug-fueled depiction including a white mound of Columbian indulgence and ending with her rolling on the ground getting every last spec. Her “best bootie” status may be in danger though after Madame Mystere’s rump shaking performance. Mystere somehow managed to make shapeless prison stripes alluring, though she certainly got more so as the stripes were peeled off and she commenced to shakin’.

The night continued with the flaming hot Natasha Fiore twirling her signature fire fans, and the comedic hula talents of Oops the Clown who suffered at the hands of prison guard Travis who took away her toys. The Mystic Pony Aerial Troupe, represented by Sarah the Bobcat and Nikki Frisky, intertwined their lithe bodies creating the most mesmerizing patterns with their striped leggings, and despite the horrible 80s wigs, the ponys looked fantastic.

Joining the cast of bad girls was special guest Monique Michaels as a bad ass prison guard that was quite the contrast to dear Travis. Monique stoked the crowd twirling her baton and lip syncing “When You’re Good to Mama”. A surly “Matron” riding roughshod over the incarcerated ladies, added to the aforementioned late night Skinamax vibe in my head.

Not surprisingly, my favorite act of the night was FDT’s fearless leader, Ms. Trixie Minx. The same women who made a lettuce chewing tortoise sexy, portrayed an inmate that was better suited for the asylum than county lock-up, and again she makes it sexy. Trixie started out in a strait jacket with a crazed look in her eyes that Heath Ledger’s acting coach would have been proud of. Upon removing her bindings, Trixie started laying out a large sheet of plastic that had me a little concerned about how much she was giving into her character. Luckily it was pies that were brought out and not an ax. There are few women in this world that can pull off a pie tin for a hat, but Trixie does so with gusto.

I would say that Prison Tales was a great welcome home show for Southern Babylon. Until next time people, good night.